Why Each Team Can't Win

Its the time of year when everyone is coming up with reasons why each team can or can not win the premiership. But here is why is team has no chance in hell.

Dragons

The most obvious team to pick reason for failure in, everybody knows why. Chokers. From Soward to Gasnier, each of them had years of premiership slip ups lodged into their esophagus the moment they signed for the red V. With all this failure hampering their breathing, there is no way they will have the stamina to last 80 minutes of intense finals football. It is just not physically possible.

Titans

This team with no heritage has no reason to win the comp. Fans have only been waiting 4 seasons for freaks sake, how fair is that. Besides the last thing the NRL wants is to have to strip another title away from a team, after they discover the 4 lane bowling alley, brewery and 2 kilometer go kart circuit built beneath Scott Prince's house.

Roosters

Anasta. I could just leave it at that but I won't. If his face was printed all over magazines, newspapers and other media, nothing would be sold. Punters would be vomiting in news agencies and making an awful mess. The NRL will not let this happen and no doubt refs will be briefed on the situation.

Raiders

For a start, there is something wrong with the bloody footballs in Canberra. Either that or the atmosphere is different down there cause those things go a bloody mile down there. Anyway, they definitely use this to their advantage and as soon as they come up to Sydney they are goners. The Raiders also have a wealth of bad puns ready to be used that I really don't want to hear. Such as: "A CampEASY Win". "Raiders kick BUTTriss". "MonagHANDS Raiders Victory."

Tigers

The Tigpies are pretenders. All season they have been pretending to score tries, pretending to kick goals, pretending to wins games and the bloody ladder has believed them. Well there is no gullible ladder in the finals and if they pretend to win the GF they will be found out.

Panthers

The refs clearly have it in for Penrith, sending off Civoniceva and all after worse incidents were let go. So its a certainty that finger pointing will be done if Penrith hit the lead.

So there you go, none of the teams have a hope in hell.