Introducing a new segment here at TC Ink, we look at a trend that has entrenched itself within the dialect of many people around the world.
"You Know", a statement that is becoming more common than using the filler "like", is nearly unavoidable by most people in everyday conversation.
We sit through interviews and hear it used repeatedly.
Of course, some people have not caught this virus yet and still speak well, but "You Know" is spreading like a plague and action must be taken before it captures us all and tarnishes the English language forever.
Here at TC Ink we decided to ask former West Indian cricket captain Chris Gayle for his comments.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Why Each Team Can't Win
Its the time of year when everyone is coming up with reasons why each team can or can not win the premiership. But here is why is team has no chance in hell.
Dragons
The most obvious team to pick reason for failure in, everybody knows why. Chokers. From Soward to Gasnier, each of them had years of premiership slip ups lodged into their esophagus the moment they signed for the red V. With all this failure hampering their breathing, there is no way they will have the stamina to last 80 minutes of intense finals football. It is just not physically possible.
Titans
This team with no heritage has no reason to win the comp. Fans have only been waiting 4 seasons for freaks sake, how fair is that. Besides the last thing the NRL wants is to have to strip another title away from a team, after they discover the 4 lane bowling alley, brewery and 2 kilometer go kart circuit built beneath Scott Prince's house.
Roosters
Anasta. I could just leave it at that but I won't. If his face was printed all over magazines, newspapers and other media, nothing would be sold. Punters would be vomiting in news agencies and making an awful mess. The NRL will not let this happen and no doubt refs will be briefed on the situation.
Raiders
For a start, there is something wrong with the bloody footballs in Canberra. Either that or the atmosphere is different down there cause those things go a bloody mile down there. Anyway, they definitely use this to their advantage and as soon as they come up to Sydney they are goners. The Raiders also have a wealth of bad puns ready to be used that I really don't want to hear. Such as: "A CampEASY Win". "Raiders kick BUTTriss". "MonagHANDS Raiders Victory."
Tigers
The Tigpies are pretenders. All season they have been pretending to score tries, pretending to kick goals, pretending to wins games and the bloody ladder has believed them. Well there is no gullible ladder in the finals and if they pretend to win the GF they will be found out.
Panthers
The refs clearly have it in for Penrith, sending off Civoniceva and all after worse incidents were let go. So its a certainty that finger pointing will be done if Penrith hit the lead.
So there you go, none of the teams have a hope in hell.
Dragons
The most obvious team to pick reason for failure in, everybody knows why. Chokers. From Soward to Gasnier, each of them had years of premiership slip ups lodged into their esophagus the moment they signed for the red V. With all this failure hampering their breathing, there is no way they will have the stamina to last 80 minutes of intense finals football. It is just not physically possible.
Titans
This team with no heritage has no reason to win the comp. Fans have only been waiting 4 seasons for freaks sake, how fair is that. Besides the last thing the NRL wants is to have to strip another title away from a team, after they discover the 4 lane bowling alley, brewery and 2 kilometer go kart circuit built beneath Scott Prince's house.
Roosters
Anasta. I could just leave it at that but I won't. If his face was printed all over magazines, newspapers and other media, nothing would be sold. Punters would be vomiting in news agencies and making an awful mess. The NRL will not let this happen and no doubt refs will be briefed on the situation.
Raiders
For a start, there is something wrong with the bloody footballs in Canberra. Either that or the atmosphere is different down there cause those things go a bloody mile down there. Anyway, they definitely use this to their advantage and as soon as they come up to Sydney they are goners. The Raiders also have a wealth of bad puns ready to be used that I really don't want to hear. Such as: "A CampEASY Win". "Raiders kick BUTTriss". "MonagHANDS Raiders Victory."
Tigers
The Tigpies are pretenders. All season they have been pretending to score tries, pretending to kick goals, pretending to wins games and the bloody ladder has believed them. Well there is no gullible ladder in the finals and if they pretend to win the GF they will be found out.
Panthers
The refs clearly have it in for Penrith, sending off Civoniceva and all after worse incidents were let go. So its a certainty that finger pointing will be done if Penrith hit the lead.
So there you go, none of the teams have a hope in hell.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Hayne Plane Banned from Race
Organisers of tonight's Fastest Footballer race have made it clear that Jarryd Hayne's Hayne plane is banned from being utilised in the race.
It was decided that the plane simply gave Hayne too much of an unfair advantage.
"It would be ridiculous really." A representative from the event commented. "I mean, imagine being one of the other competitors, slogging it out on foot, and then this bloody idiot soars past overhead. We just can't allow it."
It is understood that the Hayne train is also outlawed, as it poses as a danger to the other runners' safety.
"The train is a different story altogether. Not only is it unfair, but there is a good chance that the train would flatten everyone in it's path. The last thing we want is 7 dead football stars and 1 on trial for murder."
To make things simpler, no machinery will be allowed in the race, and no phenomena rhyming with Hayne will be permitted either, meaning NRL referee Shayne Hayne was ruled out of officiating the event.
"Well there would have been no use getting him to do it anyway, because he would just end up sending the finish to video ref for a thousand replays."
Hayne was disappointed but accepting of the ruling.
"Its disappointing, you know, I would have liked to fire up the plane but I understand. I'll just have to give it a whirl afterwards if I win."
The event will be telecast on OneHD from 8:30 tonight.
It was decided that the plane simply gave Hayne too much of an unfair advantage.
"It would be ridiculous really." A representative from the event commented. "I mean, imagine being one of the other competitors, slogging it out on foot, and then this bloody idiot soars past overhead. We just can't allow it."
It is understood that the Hayne train is also outlawed, as it poses as a danger to the other runners' safety.
"The train is a different story altogether. Not only is it unfair, but there is a good chance that the train would flatten everyone in it's path. The last thing we want is 7 dead football stars and 1 on trial for murder."
To make things simpler, no machinery will be allowed in the race, and no phenomena rhyming with Hayne will be permitted either, meaning NRL referee Shayne Hayne was ruled out of officiating the event.
"Well there would have been no use getting him to do it anyway, because he would just end up sending the finish to video ref for a thousand replays."
Hayne was disappointed but accepting of the ruling.
"Its disappointing, you know, I would have liked to fire up the plane but I understand. I'll just have to give it a whirl afterwards if I win."
The event will be telecast on OneHD from 8:30 tonight.
Monday, September 6, 2010
"Wasn't Me" Says Tandy
Bulldogs forward Ryan Tandy who is at the center of the NRL's late alleged betting scandal has talked to the media for the second time regarding the incident.
"My agent told me my last chat with you guys wasn't convincing enough." Tandy began. "So, you know, I've decided to issue this statement to, you know, put to bed all suspicions towards me."
"The player you saw making that error, and giving away that penalty was simply not me."
"It was Kimmorley, I swear. Look, you have no way of proving that man is actually me. You know, can you DNA test a video? No, I don't think so... You can't right... Shit, should have asked my manager that one first... Anyway, you know, it isn't important. It was a corrupt Indian cricket bookie exploring new avenues. He tied me up and then, you know, dressed up as me."
"So I'm sure that sets the record straight. You can check my alibi with my manager, he untied me." Tandy concluded.
He proceeded to leave the press conference in his brand new Mercedes Benz, which he claimed to have found when earlier quizzed about it.
"I swear, you know, someone just left it outside my place!"
"My agent told me my last chat with you guys wasn't convincing enough." Tandy began. "So, you know, I've decided to issue this statement to, you know, put to bed all suspicions towards me."
"The player you saw making that error, and giving away that penalty was simply not me."
"It was Kimmorley, I swear. Look, you have no way of proving that man is actually me. You know, can you DNA test a video? No, I don't think so... You can't right... Shit, should have asked my manager that one first... Anyway, you know, it isn't important. It was a corrupt Indian cricket bookie exploring new avenues. He tied me up and then, you know, dressed up as me."
"So I'm sure that sets the record straight. You can check my alibi with my manager, he untied me." Tandy concluded.
He proceeded to leave the press conference in his brand new Mercedes Benz, which he claimed to have found when earlier quizzed about it.
"I swear, you know, someone just left it outside my place!"
Monday, August 2, 2010
Media First for TC Ink
In a move that has shocked media circles around the globe, TC Ink has added a strict "No Dickhead policy" to its values.
Following the example set by sporting teams such as the South Sydney Rabbitohs, digital media organisation TC Ink has outed all troublesome characters and clueless nuffies.
Daily Telegraph editor Gary Linnell was asked for his comments on the move by TC Ink.
"Well they've written their own death sentence I think. Having a News company full of dickheads is clearly a winning formula, just look at News Limited. You just need dribblers such as Josh Massoud and James Phelps to write rubbish, for some reason people love to read shit."
The popular Sydney Morning Herald is even more abundant with garbage talking fools with Danny Weidler and Jason Taylor on board.
"I admit its going to be tough." TC Ink commented. "Especially with the release of our new TC Times, which will do a lot of bagging out of dickheads. Some people will argue, surely you need a dickhead to sit around and abuse dickheads all day? Well, hopefully I won't have to sack myself."
"I've already had to let someone go who queued two days for an IPhone 4. We just can't have that sort of behaviour around here. Someone came in last week on Monday and said "Any non Eels supporters want tickets aboard the Hayne plane?", I sent him home with a serious warning. Lucky he didn't get to give away the tickets, because we would have lost some good employees in that terrible crash on Saturday night."
"To be honest the move came about when we were approached by Sebastian Vettel yesterday morning. He was looking for an avenue to whinge about Mark Webber and it just clicked in my mind that we can't have people like this around here. When I told him we couldn't take him on board because of our new rule he paused and then said in a confused voice "Rules?!?!?!?" The conversation ended there."
It remains to be seen whether TC Ink's new TC Times and their new 'No Dickhead Policy' will be a success, but if all fails a backflip could be an easy process, because apparently Braith Anasta wants to do a column.
Following the example set by sporting teams such as the South Sydney Rabbitohs, digital media organisation TC Ink has outed all troublesome characters and clueless nuffies.
Daily Telegraph editor Gary Linnell was asked for his comments on the move by TC Ink.
"Well they've written their own death sentence I think. Having a News company full of dickheads is clearly a winning formula, just look at News Limited. You just need dribblers such as Josh Massoud and James Phelps to write rubbish, for some reason people love to read shit."
The popular Sydney Morning Herald is even more abundant with garbage talking fools with Danny Weidler and Jason Taylor on board.
"I admit its going to be tough." TC Ink commented. "Especially with the release of our new TC Times, which will do a lot of bagging out of dickheads. Some people will argue, surely you need a dickhead to sit around and abuse dickheads all day? Well, hopefully I won't have to sack myself."
"I've already had to let someone go who queued two days for an IPhone 4. We just can't have that sort of behaviour around here. Someone came in last week on Monday and said "Any non Eels supporters want tickets aboard the Hayne plane?", I sent him home with a serious warning. Lucky he didn't get to give away the tickets, because we would have lost some good employees in that terrible crash on Saturday night."
"To be honest the move came about when we were approached by Sebastian Vettel yesterday morning. He was looking for an avenue to whinge about Mark Webber and it just clicked in my mind that we can't have people like this around here. When I told him we couldn't take him on board because of our new rule he paused and then said in a confused voice "Rules?!?!?!?" The conversation ended there."
It remains to be seen whether TC Ink's new TC Times and their new 'No Dickhead Policy' will be a success, but if all fails a backflip could be an easy process, because apparently Braith Anasta wants to do a column.
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